There seems to be a sentiment among women today that a man must be a hero in order to be good enough to date, let alone spend a lifetime with. A popular song called “Holding Out for a Hero” expresses this perfectly (if you haven’t heard it, check it out here). A man is only worth a woman’s time if he is
- street smart
- makes unwise bets
- has a taste for danger
- gives instant gratification
- the stuff of fantasy
No wonder women are marrying later and later in life, if this is the standard to which they hold men! Come on, ladies, get real. No man is ever, ever going to meet those criteria. Why? Because men are human beings, not Greek gods. If you’re holding out for Hercules, you’re going to die alone.
Am I advocating having no standards at all and marrying the first guy who shows interest in you? Absolutely not! In fact, I’m not even saying that you shouldn’t think of your spouse as a hero. What I am suggesting, however, is that our perception of a hero needs adjusting.
What makes a man a hero?
- Loving God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength (Luke 10:27)
- Providing for his family (1 Timothy 5:8)
- Laying down his life for his wife, as Christ laid down his life for the church (Ephesians 5:25-27)
This may be a short list, but these three things encompass all the things that cause women to respect men, and what is the title “hero” but the ultimate term of respect? If a man loves God with everything he has, takes care of his family, that man is more of a hero to me than some guy with godlike features.
“But two of those three descriptors only apply to married men. How does this help me find a single man??” If a man truly loves God with his entire being, then the others will follow naturally. You can count on it.
By all means, hold out for a hero. But make sure he’s the right kind of hero.