Confessions of a Closet Twilight Fan

I’ve heard all the arguments about why Twilight is horrible: sub-par writing, doesn’t stick to the “rules” about vampires, confusing love with obsession and lust — the list goes on.

I’ve heard them all, and I agree with them. When I step back and take a good, long look at the story and the characters, I can find nothing redeeming about the series. My friends know me as the person who loves to expound on why and how much I dislike the series.

What they don’t know is that Twilight is also something I can’t stay away from. “my own personal brand of heroin,” if you will. I watch the first movie on a fairly regular basis, I have the books on my Kindle (so my friends won’t see them on my bookshelf), I listen to both the score and the soundtrack from the first movie regularly, and I can play “Bella’s Lullaby” on the piano (both Carter Burwell’s version and Yiruma’s “River Flows in You”). There is something about Twilight that completely sucks me in and refuses to release me until I have completed the story.


This week Twilight captured me again, but this time it took me to a new place. I read Midnight Sun, Stephenie Meyer’s (sadly) unfinished version of Twilight told from Edward’s point of view.

I hated it.

I loved it.

I hated how little Edward’s side felt like love and how much it felt like psychopathic, lustful obsession.

I loved how Midnight Sun reflected the truth that love makes ordinary seem extraordinary, such as with Edward’s perception of Bella’s beauty (or at the beginning of the story, her lack thereof).

Twilight is undeniably bad for me. It makes me think of too many things I would rather forget about. Yet I keep going back to it, over and over, and I will very probably go back again and again.

Why can’t I keep from liking something I know I dislike?



One thought on “Confessions of a Closet Twilight Fan

  1. It’s a problem we all deal with in many different aspects of life!

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